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Preconception care in Crisis
There is no doubt we’re facing a collective crisis at this time. Each being touched in different ways by things such as the housing crisis, poly-crisis, environmental disasters, inflation, late stage capitalism, infertility, environmental toxicity, misogyny, and many more systemic issues. A lack of awareness crisis, an out of touch with our wildness, our animal self crisis… rippling into pregnancy, birth and parenting.
I felt compelled and inspired to write about preconception care in crisis as it’s something I’m presently facing within my own experience and something I talk to women about a lot in contemplating whether to bring children into this world or how can we even do it with the stressors and depletion we’re meeting even in maidenhood? It all feels like a lot sometimes.
We are living in an infertility epidemic. We are reckoning with our possible extinction. We are grappling with each day as it comes. And our mammalian longing to conceive is still
present.
We are being sold and told we aren’t enough, we don’t have enough, we need more to provide for a child. And wait as long as possible, do all these things, all this testing and perfecting before even allowing the possibility of life. All this birth and women control is life
control at its core.
I’ve been reading The Madonna Secret by Sophie Strand and it’s really beautifully expressing this lens through which I see the world. Speaking to the true Kingdom being that of the purity, simplicity of life, the River and Nature, and how the Kingdom has become barren cities. These places that aren’t supportive of life or life’s thriving. How when we seek outside ourselves for healing we forget we hold the true keys to our healing and fertility.
We live in a world that isn’t mother, fertility, spirit baby, or community-centred and wonder why we have so many “fears” to move through before conception, pregnancy and birth?
There is this collective overwhelm and grief we face when in crisis and yearning.
Crisis = danger and difficulty.
Lack of community is dangerous
Isolation is dangerous
We’re mammals, we need community and others to coregulate with and as much as we wish this wasn’t the case (hello hyper independence) we do depend on each other.
I’ve found in my recent experience of housing instability and heartbreak how much lighter the experience has felt because I’ve had community care and support. It’s been so vulnerable and tender to ask for help. I’ve been working a lot over the last couple months with my needs, communicating and meeting them in a whole new state and environment. Wurundjeri Country is gifting me a lot of awareness around Root matters such as housing.
Here are some ways I’ve been supporting myself through crisis:
Receiving bodywork
Taking deep breaths
Feeling my feelings as they arise
Letting people in, even if I’m feeling shame around my situation, letting those I love know what’s really happening in my world
Getting an airbnb and food package to take some of the stress and load off
Writing
Morning sunshine and walks
Shaking my body and stretching
Taking magnesium
Working with herbal allies for the nervous system
Receiving regular therapy
I now so gratefully have a solid home while I’m here in Naarm for the next 4 months, but I’m still recovering from the last 2 months of transience and stress. I am grateful for all the ways I know how to support myself, and get my needs met, and being in the city has given me a culture/privilege shock I wasn’t expecting.
My intention with this blog is to offer compassion and for us to acknowledge, how in the little moments: When you river swim with friends, when you floss your teeth before bed and take your magnesium or herbs - you’re doing the “preconception work”. And hey that’s enough right now. When you cook a meal, or repair in relating. Each of these micro moments are evolving you into the parent you’ll become.
Thank you for reading.
What did this blog bring up for you? How did it land? Do you have any feedback? I would love to hear from you danitaylorbirthwork@gmail.com